Always the Reader, never the Writer

I’ve always described myself as more of a reader than a writer. Since I learned to read, I’ve always had my nose in a book. When it came to write creatively in school, I’d always have ideas, but they would always fizzle out once they hit the page. Sometimes I’d get the occasional burst of creativity, write a short story or a poem and then it’ll fizzle out. Then, a few years down the line, I’d stumble upon what I had written and immediately cringe. Now, I know that’s bound to happen with old work, because you learn and grow over time. The person you were then isn’t the person you are now. But still I got extreme embarrassment and either hid or destroyed my old work.

But now I’m at a point where I want to write. Properly. I really want to make a go of it this time. Develop a healthy habit and try to ignore my inner voice telling me to get rid of my work. Now even if I make a real go of it, there’s one aspect of writing that I’m never fond of: grammar. Yeah…so even with my M.A. in English Literature, you would think that I have a natural aptitude for grammar, but to be honest, I’m quite apathetic toward grammar rules (don’t @ me). Now, I don’t completely disregard the rules for grammar, but I don’t particularly have a problem if a there’s a few extra commas, or commas that are missing, or if you disregard use of the semicolon. I’m not a stickler for grammar. If I can read it, glean the meaning from what you write, then your grammar is fine.

Despite my apathy towards, grammar, I do want to develop my voice. Be able to talk about all the ideas I have swimming about in my head and write it down, rather than having a verbal conversation about it. Conversations are good to have, but there’s a permanence about writing that allows your discourse to last for more than just a moment in time.

So, I’m lucky and grateful that through this internship with Gotham Writers (shameless plug), I get to take a class without any charge. I’ve signed up for Essay & Opinion Writing, and my hope is that I’ll get my creative juices flowing again with this class, keep up the momentum when the class is over, try out new styles of writing, and be able to find my voice in time.

-Amanda

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